You stumble awkwardly away trying to cover your naked body without dropping the shortsword.
You almost immediately trip over your own feet and fall facedown onto the sword which, naturally, plunges deep into your torso.
As you roll in agony the field morphs into a bouncy castle and you blink a few times to see horrified parents and screaming children fleeing the area. Your sword hand rises to find the crushed Lonestar tallboy can you've been wielding this whole time.
You're still naked. The police are on the way.